Ad Navseam

Married with Classicists (Ad Navseam, Episode 68)

By now listeners have gotten used to (and maybe even enjoyed?) the loose, devil-may-care, locker room atmosphere that tends to dominate in the Vomitorium. But what about a ladies' perspective on all this folderol? And not just any old feminine perspective, but that of the extraordinary women who made the decision to marry these chuckleheads? That’s right—this week the guys are joined by Tara and Bec (married, respectively, to Dave and Jeff) where they get a chance to unload on what it’s like to live with the antiquity-obsesssed. Is there more to traveling than “climbing tall things and seeing dead guys”? Can one offer fashion advice without irreparrably bruising egos? And will the hosts need serious therapy after this one? Tune in!

Rock Those Socks!: Stocking Stuffers for the Classically Oriented (Ad Navseam, Episode 67)

Desperate to find the perfect gift to slip into your favorite scholar’s (budding and otherwise) stocking this year? Of course you are, because if he or she finds another bath bomb or scented whazzit in there someone’s going to get hurt. Fear not! Dave and Jeff are here to help with their curated best-of lists. And the gamut is run—yes, there are plenty of heady tomes to set your beloveds on the proper path, but also many surprises along the way, including shred metal guitar, stunningly bad movies, and shocking sources of dietary fiber! Who knows, if you do it right maybe you'll end up like Sting and celebrate Yuletide by finding many words to rhyme with “Charybdis”.

Growing Up Classical: A Conversation with Jillian Noe (Ad Navseam, Episode 66)

It’s “Bring Your Daughter to Work Week” in the vomitorium and today Dave’s daughter Jillian stops by to talk about what it was like being homeschooled, speaking Latin and Ancient Greek from a young age, and what has kept her interest in the Classics to the present day. Jillian weaves and dodges her way through a barrage of dad jokes as she takes us through Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief, and reasons why it sparked her interest in mythology. Before she bolts for her 2nd semester of Classical studies, the guys try to offer some advice on how to deal with the question every humanities major loathes, “So whatcha gonna do with that?”
 

I Want My Mummy!: the Lost Tomb of Alexander the Great (Ad Navseam, Episode 65)

This week the guys hopscotch from Babylon, to Memphis (not TN), to Alexandria (not VA), and even to Venice (not FL) in search of an answer to one of the most captivating and lingering archaeological questions of all time—what happened to the tomb and body of Alexander Ille Magnus? How could this centuries-long tourist attraction (visited by some of the greatest Caesars who ever caesared) and massive, Wal-Mart sized complex simply vanish? As they say, it’s complicated. We’ve got cross-desert catafalquing, followed by temporary tomb subletting, and toxic mosque-ulinity, capped off by some embarrassing nose-mangling, and maybe even a mummy heading for its final stop in a gondola. Paging Heinrich Schliemann! 

How to be a Latin Guru, Part II (Ad Navseam, Episode 64)

Transliminate your favorite room, grab a cronut and get ready for some top-shelf edutainment! Dave and Jeff set the table, tackling terms and probing provenances with deep dives into etymologies, derivatives, cognates, and malapropism (be careful not to die in the barn!) After some stretching, the guys even break a sweat with high-intensity calquing. Next up, some favorite mondegreens as Dave flakes on Phil Collins and Jeff trips over Toto, followed by some of Dave’s best practical principles on how to incorporate active, idiomatic Latin into your study and make it stick. Get ready to sign up for the 20-yr. plan. And if you ever feel guilty for how much time you spend listening to Ad Navseam, just remember the act itself, in this hobunk spot of the internet, is persebonate.

How to be a Latin Guru, Part I (Ad Navseam, Episode 63)

What’s the best way to learn, retain, and teach Latin? The old school, passive “grammar and rote memorization” route or the hip, (relatively) new active, “spoken and living language” approach? You don’t need to be versed in COBOL or FORTRAN or know your way around those punch-cards that used to operate refrigerator-sized computers back in the ‘70s to answer that question (though it might help). Dave and Jeff are here to share the stories of their own journeys through various Latin curricula on both sides of the desk. Hear what led Dave to embrace the “active spoken” method—the highs and lows, the practicalities and the hilarities. And if it gets too heavy, fear not — Arugula Man is waiting in the wings.

There’s No Place Like Dome: Neoclassicism and the Architecture of Washington D.C. (Ad Navseam, Episode 62)

Ever wonder why the American capitol is chock full of columns, pediments, and triglyphs, or why the Washington Monument appears supremely suited for roasting large quantities of meat? Then this is the episode for you. The guys begin their journey way back in the 18th century when Europe was undergoing a wave of “Greek Fever” and “Egyptomania”. They had it all:  romantic poems, shady trinket collections, and enlightened revolutions which eventually spilled over into neo-classical architecture. And this still 'colors' the way we recall and interpret the ancient world. Thus the obelisk of WaMo and the Pantheon-y JeMe flexing its dome-court advantage. All very nice, but can it go too far? Did anybody really need a ripped, shirtless statue of George Washington throneing it up in the Capitol rotunda? Tune in to find out.

Sedimental Journeys: Two More Ovidian Vignettes (Ad Navseam, Episode 61)

It's tufa one in the Vomitorium today! Two petrifying tales from the Metamorphoses, that is. First, Perseus gets hopelessly lost and takes it for granite that big-boned Atlas will offer him directions and a snack. But a dread prophecy leads Atlas to slam the door instead and Perseus to say "No More Mr. Gneiss Guy". He whips out his secret weapon from his Gorgon's head-sized holster with predictable results. Next it's on to Niobe whose Latona-directed trash talk knows no bounds. Even when Apollo and Diana begin to take bloody revenge, Niobe's hubris gets bigger and boulder. Her own transformation is sure with all that evidence mountain against her. Starting to get the schist of it? Shale we go on? Ore maybe not? Either way, you'll lava it!

“Just Ghosts To Show Ya” - Halloween Special (Ad Navseam, Episode 60)

Do you encourage your children to stay in their beds at night by telling them that, if they get up, a vampiric meany will sneak in through a window and slurp their haematids? No? Well, the ancient Greeks would like to have a talk with you about your parenting skills. Keep your favorite apotropaic talisman handy as we mull the blood-thirsty Mormo, disengawk the seductive Lamia, and evade the, um, dung-footed Empousa (!) in this spooky season special. If you make it through that gory gauntlet, then wander along with the guys into Athens' most-haunted house while keeping an eye out for spectral arrivals of dead relatives. Also, home-buying pro-tip: always have the inspector check for basement mold and shackled skeletons beneath the lawn before dropping your deposit.

“That’s the Power of Love: Two Ovidian Vignettes” (Ad Navseam, Episode 59)

Jeff and Dave wade into the Olympic-sized pool that is Ovid’s masterpiece, the Metamorphoses. After untangling etymological tendrils of the word “vignette”, the guys dive right in. First up, “Apollo and Daphne”. Not happy with Apollo’s arch trash-talk, Cupid shows him who’s really the boss—his arrows unleash unstoppable passion and malodorous disdain between the titular two. This is not the chubby bowman on your Valentine’s card. Then it’s on to “Diana and Actaeon”. What’s the message here? Another defense of chastity? Haunting comment on the goddess' sacredness? Is Ovid alluding to his own error or the recent Roman past? Maybe he's whelping on the very conventions of epic? Come on in, the water's fine, but be careful where you dogpaddle.